Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Life has it's own soundtrack

I feel that music plays an important role in our lives. It helps us get through the tough times and is with us during the happy times, it sooth's the soul in a way. I can remember as a child I loved Madonna and to this day I can sing everyone of those songs, I use to dance around the room to. I can also say I love Classic Rock thanks to my parents playing it everyday.
There were two songs in particular that helped me get through the death of my brother when I was 16, Sarah Mclachlan's Angels and the other is Ozzy Osbourne's See you on the other side. I still love these songs to this day and I think of my brother every time I hear them.
Bob Marley has been one of my all time favorite's since I went on my first vacation with my late husband. We partied every night to him, and I will always remember the song that was playing when I realized I was in love with him, can you guess which song it is? One Love, of course. But there came a time where the happiness ended and hell on earth began. System of a Down was my listening pleasure then as it helped me to release a lot of the rage I had inside me. Times were tough but I never gave up on him, everyone makes bad choices, but some of us can't  dig ourselves back out of the hole we got into. There's a song by Ziggy Marley that totally describes how he thought the world looked at him I suppose which is Black Cat. A great song!
One of my favorite songs though makes me sign my heart out every time I play it, in fact I believe it's number one on my play list. It reassures me that my son and I can do this together and everything is going to be o.k. Dave Matthews Band, You and Me! Without music I don't think I would be the person I am today. Life has been a challenge and a tough one at times, but it's the one thing that has always been there when no one else could be in the way I needed.

I would like to thank all of the great musicians that have touched my life in one way or another and have been with me in the good and the bad.

Friday, February 19, 2010

A day in the life

Do the challenges ever end? I don't think so. Last night was one of those nights, a battle at bed time with my son, he didn't wanna take a bath finally got him in the tub screaming the whole time, I just try to laugh it off. Then comes pajama time with more endless screaming as I'm still trying to just laugh it off. He calms down I get him into bed them comes another fit cause he wanted to climb into bed by himself I guess, so then we do that. Finally get him to lay down and think all is good then he just starts screaming, by this time I just told him good night and I'll see you in the morning, soon he falls asleep.

Next up I'm relaxing watching the Olympics, getting ready to retire for the evening, the dogs wanna go outside, so I let them out. I let them back in and my Marley comes in with blood dripping all over the floor, he has ripped his toenail off, on the ice I assume. I stay calm at first get the nail trimmed off, get it cleaned up, everything I tried to wrap around it comes off, and every time he lick it blood would start spraying all over. About 45 minutes go by and I'm trying everything, what in the world do I do. I call one friend no answer, then I call another, he comes right over telling me it's looks alright, yeah it did tell he saw the blood shooting everywhere. Finally he takes him to the emergency vet for me. They took care of it with a bill of $220. UGH.
So this morning we get up I don't know if the poor dog slept or not with his cone and all. He's just terrified with that cone on his head, then his bandage comes off to. So far it's bleeding a little, gotta get to the store for supplies to wrap my poor dogs foot. Hope this works, and hoping for a better day today.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Life as a mom :)

Life as a single mom has been a fun and interesting challenge. I have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old son named Jonathan. He's been a very easy going child pretty much since he was born, don't get me wrong he didn't sleep through the night until he was 6 months old.  I lost my husband just 16 days after he was born, it was a crazy situation, so I don't know which way is worse for my son, but sometimes I think it's for the better.
Anyways I do the best I can and I love him with every last piece of me. He makes me laugh everyday, I think children have the power to heal you if you let them. He does have his moments as all two year olds do, and sometimes you just have to hold your breath and walk away from them, during a temper tantrum over the littlest thing, which is almost funny.
He's definitely a true boy he's all about cars and trucks, which we don't leave the house with out 5 or more, oh and don't forget kitty and mouse cause it's the end of the world :) He chases the dogs and cats around the house with his dump truck thinking its a game and there running in fear of being ran over. the things that make you smile when you think about it.
I love how kids have not a care in the world, they run up out of no where hug you tight and say I love you mommy, nothing feels better than that. You can take the good with the bad, and it will make a stronger person in the long run.  I have dated and I would like to find the one, but at the same time it almost feels like a hassle, everyone always seems to wanna change you. I've done just fine on my own so far I don't need anyone but I would like to have someone.
 I guess when I find him he'll think I'm perfect.

All right this is my first attempted at writing about my son and I. I do find it hard to talk about everything with any one friend. It's almost like I have to chose what I tell them. I need somewhere I can talk and not be judged by people, just help me with the challenges of everyday life.